Press Release from the Scottish National Party, Sunday 9th Feb 2014

Comrades, yesterday the so-called BBC showed once more its true colours as the Tory government’s  English Broadcasting Corporation.  In their coverage of the glorious Scottish victory at Murrayfield this claque of counter-revolutionaries showed themselves to be the lick-spittles of the Cameronian-Milibandian tendency.

Their crudely edited so-called “live coverage” of the game devoted a mere 2 minutes to action in the English defensive area.  By doing this they implied that in some way the glorious brave Scottish team was failing to mount any attack worthy of note.  By censoring the many minutes of action in the English 22 the EBC, under direct control from 10 Downing Street, GCHQ, MI5, MI6 and Rupert Murdoch, failed to show the many tries scored by the Scots who in a thrilling display of  total rugby scored 100 points whilst conceding a mere 20 themselves.   The EBC covered up the true state of the score by omitting the first two digits of the Scottish score.  The SNP has proof that the so-called penalty misses by Greg Laidlaw were in fact no such thing, but that CGI techniques used in almost real time showed the ball apparently missing the posts to the left.

Of course, all this subterfuge would be refuted by those present in the crowd on Saturday, but the collaborationist SRU had filled the ground with counter-revolutionaries paid for by the sinister Google Corporation.  We are sickened that the Scottish anthem was sung by crypto-anglo quislings rather than true Scottish patriots.

The EBC was also keen to use only English broadcasters to impart their own spin on the proceedings.  Those token Scots used – the hated collaborators Cotter, Paterson, Nicol and Douglas - who placed their own personal wealth ahead of their patriotism -  are henceforth banished from the People’s Republic and will be denied Scottish citizenship.  Any relatives of theirs remaining in Scotland will be sent to the gulag for re-education.

The Dear Leader
The Dear Leader looks on as the vanquished English captain receives the consolation prize

Comrades we salute the great Scottish victory yesterday.  The Dear Leader has declared that the players will be the first to be honoured with the Donald Trump “Freedom of the Links medal” following the now inevitable victory in September’s poll.